I know it has been quite a while, and much has changed in that time. I’m hoping to use this blog more often to help process the daily struggles that I am facing.
I have been in spousal abuse therapy for over 6 months. I have been in an abusive relationship for well over 10 years. It took 6 months of therapy to get me to the point where I can finally free myself.
Unfortunately, the divorce process has become quite contentious. The future is sure to be filled with legal issues, court dates, and reliving traumatic events that cause me great emotional pain.
I was at the courthouse last week. As I was standing patiently in line to speak with the county clerk, a man and woman began arguing. The man started yelling, cussing, and calling the woman a fat *ss. This hit too close to home for me as I’ve been in this exact situation before. I was so triggered that I began shaking and crying right there in front of everyone. The clerk actually apologized to me, but that did little to help the situation. When I was finished with the clerk, I tried to quickly get away from the commotion, but was shaking so hard that I fell to the ground. The man who had been verbally abusing the woman, actually tried to help me up. I jerked away from him, yelled “don’t touch me,” and got up and ran. It was truly horrifying for me.
This is just a sample of what has happened in the past weeks since September 22, 2019, which I now refer to as “D” day. One day I will be more open with my story. Until then, I need all the help and support I can get. If you can, please donate to the cause:
If you’re not able to donate, it’s completely understandable as many of us are going through hard times. Please share the link with others all over social media. And as always, prayers are more than welcome.
A blessed Ostara to all who celebrate and a happy first day of Spring to everyone else! A special wish of joy to all of my Hindu brothers and sisters who are celebrating Holi. Mubarak!
To celebrate the holidays, my novella “Finding Serenity” is free on Amazon Kindle through March 24, 2019. The promotion is active on ALL of Amazon’s sites. Here’s the link to the U.S. site:
For the next five days, you can get my poetry/essay book “I am Becoming” free on Amazon Kindle! Check it out!
Just in time for Valentine’s Day, the Kindle versions of “The Source” and “Mining the Dark” are FREE on all Amazon sites.
Here are the links to the U.S. site:
I have already registered for this year’s Out of the Darkness Walk.
From my page:
Join Me in Supporting the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
I’m walking in the Out of the Darkness Chicagoland Walk to fight suicide and support AFSP’s bold goal to reduce the suicide rate 20% by 2025.
Please help me reach my goal by clicking the “Donate” button on this page. All donations are 100% tax deductible and benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), funding research, education, advocacy, and support for those affected by suicide.
Thank you for your support!
This year – actually just a matter of coincidence – but our V-day is focusing on therapy and improving our behaviors for the health of our family. We have our first family counseling session on Saturday. I’m both excited and anxious at how things will go. I’m not completely convinced that my spouse is as committed to the process as I am, which is disheartening. Maybe I’m wrong, and he’ll surprise me.
I’ll update more on the process later. Today, focusing on the good of life, even something as simple as a smile from a good friend.
February is not only the month of Valentine’s Day, but it is also my anniversary month. This year my husband and I have been married 12 years.
I can say this, marriage is not for the faint of heart. It’s not always a bed of roses. In our case, we’ve been experiencing more thorns as of late. One thing we do agree on is that we’ve got to make changes for the betterment of our daughter. We argue a lot, and that’s taking a toll on her. We’ve somewhat come to an agreement that we need to speak with a family therapist. This will be beneficial for everyone as my husband does not have the understanding or coping skills to deal with living with someone with mental illness. Even more so, he has some of his own issues that he needs to work through. Mix both of those things, and the environment our daughter is living in is not as healthy as it could be. And that’s the goal – improving the environment for her.
This February I will be meditating a lot on what makes a healthy family. I wouldn’t consider my upbringing to be a model example. I consider myself somewhat of an expert of knowing what is not healthy, but I’m not an expert at not making the same mistakes. That’s the goal – knowing what a healthy family is and striving toward that. It’s in all of our best interests, for love, for family, for life.