I’m wallowing. I know.
My therapist says it’s okay to use this to get the feelings out, but be self-aware enough to know when to stop. That’s the hard part, not drowning in your feelings.
Soon, I’m going to leave, get some wine, and go home. I’m sure I will spend much of my time in bed, watching or wasting time online. The truth of the matter is that I wish I had someone big and cuddly that I could fall asleep against. Someone who would make me feel safe, make me feel like everything is going to be alright, make me feel like I’m not alone.
My daughter has decided that she wants to spend Thanksgiving with her dad. Another one of my holidays taken from me. Another holiday all alone. I know better than to spend it like that, because that’s just a recipe for disaster. So, I very quickly reached out to a friend who has no family in the area and asked if he had plans. He doesn’t…he was going to be all alone, too. Now we’ll be all alone together, sharing a bottle of wine. I just hope that I don’t make a blubbering mess of myself.
Raise your glass – here’s to new traditions, the ones we create when we have to, just to find a little comfort when everything you’ve known is slowly falling away.