Making Friends

I’ve never really been good at making friends.

In school, my closest friends were guys, because I just felt like I had more in common with them. But, I still I kept at least one really close female friend. Still, my circle was never really that big, and I spent a lot of time alone.

This changed a bit when I went to college. I forced myself to get involved with different groups and made the most friends within the LGBTQI community.

I’ve been pretty isolated socially for many years. In part that was my own doing. On the other side, I felt like I was forced to socialize with a community that was not mine and socialize with people that I had very little in common with. It wasn’t really socializing to me. Instead it was the equivalent of being in a room full of people and feeling all alone.

Now, at 44, I’m making steps to change that, in any way I can. To find people that share common interests…that like to do the same things…so that if I want to do something and don’t want to be alone, I have a group of people that I can reach out to for company. But, it’s harder when you’re older and when you have a child. People without kids don’t really get it and get aggravated if you put your child first (as it should be). Other single people don’t care about kids and just want to hook up. Married people sometimes don’t want to have anything to do with you because they want to do “couples” activities, and you’re just a third wheel.

If you’re lucky, you find people that accept how your life is and still want to be friends. It’s rare, but when it happens, you can’t hesitate in making that connection.

And don’t get it twisted. Looking for friends doesn’t mean your family isn’t a priority. Suggesting anything like that is emotional manipulation and a self-righteous way of trying to exhibit your superiority. That type of sh*t no longer has any power here. I’m gonna do me and f*ck anyone who doesn’t like it.

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