Nothing can make you feel quite as hollow as when you realize you have no family left. When your own child slowly turns away from you because they don’t know the whole story and view you as the bad guy, it’s heart wrenching in a way that is completely unimaginable. You can’t even understand it unless you’ve been through it.
You can’t force a child to see what’s right and just. And the same time, I won’t be disrespected by my child anymore. The only thing I can do is giver her space and see if she comes back, while still supporting her anyway I can.
It shouldn’t be a surprise. When I left on September 22, she was asked who she wanted to stay with, and she said her father. The two things I remember most about that night are that, and both of them laughing at me.
The past few months have been daily heartache, and it doesn’t look to end any time soon. How can you prioritize your family when you have none left?
I just keep reminding myself of the Buffy quote:
“No weapons. No friends. No hope. Take all that away and what’s left?———-ME.”