There is a commonality in relationships – whether it’s friendship or romantic. Whether someone is a friend or a “partner,” here are some signs to look out for:
- Passive aggression.
- Jealousy and the blame game.
- Criticism and contempt.
- Arguing without communicating.
- Negative energy.
- Avoiding each other.
- You’re not yourself.
- Feeling like there’s no point.
- You only think about making him or her happy.
- You can’t seem to do anything right.
- Growth and change are seen as negatives.
- Reminiscing on the beginning instead of looking toward the future.
- You’re just not happy anymore.
I’ve put in bold all the things that I felt in my most recent relationship. If these are symptoms of your relationship, run for the hills! You deserve happiness and a partner and friends who support you instead of dragging you down.
So, if you find yourself in this situation, wrench the knife from your back and use it to carve out a bright future for yourself. Respect yourself enough that you’re not treated as a doormat. And even more so, teach your children to be strong, confident, independent, and to accept nothing less than respect. If the person doesn’t respect you, that person doesn’t deserve to be in your life.
I have been fortunate to meet some of the best people in my life, people from all over the world. For those who are still in my life, they are amazingly supportive and genuinely want what’s best for me and my daughter. And to the new friend who told me last night, “I absolutely think you’re very special, honey.” These are the types of things you need to hear rather than being told that you’re selfish and a bad mother. This type of thing actually reminds me of yet another Buffy the Vampire Slayer quote from the character Cordelia – I’ll leave you with this as a message for all who are reading:
“I’m gonna give you some advice. Get over it. Whatever is causing the Joan Collins ‘tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain. Spank your inner moppet. Whatever. But get over it, because pretty soon you’re not even gonna have the loser friends you’ve got now.”