After an evening of the most serious SI I’ve ever experienced, there is a glimmer of hope.
Rest assured, I called my doc, got meds, and I’ll be like a zombie for a while…but that’s what I need right now.
I did it on my own. All alone again. Even the one person who knew didn’t lift a finger of any type of support. That’s when you know the love you need does not exist.
Then it happened. The most unexpected thing. A friend who listened and didn’t run away when hearing the truth. No condemnation, just support…and a reminder that the wounds will heal and making me promise by heart never to do it again. It so reminded me of my first love and him making me promise to never attempt suicide again…and I haven’t. That’s all it took – was for someone to say, you’re not crazy, you’re just hurting…but you’re worth it for so many reasons, so please don’t do it again.
It’s been 34 years since I’ve received sincere, genuine support like that. I not only felt supported, but I felt cared for, protected, and comforted. From a friend.
And it’s all been right there in front of my face this whole time, and I never realized it.
I still feel numb from the meds…but I’m utterly blown away.