Real Love


As I’ve stated in one of my previous blogs, the best relationships are built on a solid foundation of friendship. Those who are lucky, find that and it evolves into the purest, most soul-quenching love that one can ever experience. Few get even a glimpse of this in their lives. Others who are more fortunate experience it more than once. They are truly blessed.

Anyone who knows me knows that I’ve been searching for “the tingle.” What this is – if I can describe it accurately – is when the chemistry is so electric between two people that when they kiss, you feel a tingling sensation all over your body. I have been lucky to experience this twice in my life – with my first love and with the man I was dating before I went to India for 6 months. It’s a rare feeling – and with both men, we started out as good friends and continue to be good friends to this day.

So when my friend provided me the exact emotional support I needed and expressed that he had developed feelings for me, I was shocked, but a little bit hopeful. To discuss things, I agreed to spend the day at his place.

We talked A LOT about the possibility of us, how our kids would feel about things, and he gave me some useful advice on dealing with my ex. I kept adjusting my blouse because of the SI relapse, and I didn’t want him to see the cuts. He held my hands in his and said, “Mami, it’s okay. You don’t have to hide them from me,” then he leaned forward a placed a very chaste kiss on one of the marks. I actually teared up because I had been so used to being called crazy and psycho – this was such a different expression that I didn’t know what to do with myself. He brushed the tears from my face, asked me again to promise never to do it again, then he fully kissed me on the lips…and IT HAPPENED. The tingling started in my face, then to the back of my neck, down my spine, and all throughout my body. I was literally breathless when we stopped kissing, like all of my energy had been drained onto the floor.

My Goddess – who would have ever guessed?

For the most part, the rest of the day was relaxing and somewhat uneventful – so much so that as we were watching TV, I fell asleep with my head in his lap.

We agreed to take things as slowly as possible. We don’t want to do anything to ruin a good friendship, but at the same time, if this is the REAL DEAL, we want to wait to see if a deep emotional connection develops before taking that step.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is how it should be done.

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