Tag Archives: BtVS

More than Novels and Movies


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It’s only the second day of October and my horror movie marathon continues. So far today I have watched Frankenstein, Valentine, and Leprechaun. However, my interest in the horror genre is not limited to just movies, TV, and novels – it also carries over to video games and comics.

When I was younger, I LOVED to turn off all the lights and play Silent Hill 2 or Resident Evil: Code Veronica X. Now that I have a family, I don’t get to play video games as much, and having a young child means practically no horror games. The closest I’ve come to a horror game in recent years is Alan Wake, and I still have yet to finish it. Le’sigh.

I am still able to get my horror fix with comics. Like multitudes of other people, I’m a huge fan of The Walking Dead. I also thoroughly enjoy a web comic written by my good friend Seth Coleman, Benedict Barlow and the Curse of Rotwood. And to be expected, I have read all of the Buffy and Angel comics.

What’s your favorite horror comics and video games? Please comment so I can scope out other titles.

Fang on! v–v

So Excited, and I Want to Hide


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Tomorrow Emerald City ComiCon begins. Well, there are activities going on tonight, but the main events at the convention center start tomorrow.

There are many things to see, do, and experience. I’m particularly looking forward to the Women of Buffy panel with Julie Benz, Charisma Carpenter, and Clare Kramer. Well, sort of.

I have been looking forward to this since I purchased the passes during the fall of 2014. I’ve been excitedly talking about the possibilities every time a new guest was announced.

Starting this week, as the first day looms closer, a heavy knot of dread has begun pressing on my stomach. I have felt nauseated. All of the muscles in my body have been tensing, causing some painful spasms. When I casually think about the Con, I feel like throwing up, and my mind wanders to “valid” excuses not to go.

This is the reality of social anxiety.

I don’t necessarily fear being around a large group of people. The best way I can describe it is that when I think about being surrounded by the thousands of people who will attend, I feel a crawling sensation under my skin and going seems like more effort than it’s really worth leaving my home.

But, I do want to go.

The conflict is aggravating. Sometimes the anxiety wins, and I miss out on things that I would actually enjoy…if it weren’t for all of the people. Other times I’m successful at WILLING myself into these situations, and I try my best to focus on what originally drew me while trying to mentally separate myself from those around me. This practice is actually physically and emotionally exhausting – which is why I begin thinking that it’s not really worth the trouble.

I had my first major panic attack at ECCC last year. I didn’t know it was a panic at the time. In the middle of it, I sat down to rest, and came close to losing consciousness. I actually had to call my husband on his cell phone, and all I could say was, “Help me….please help me. I’m going to fall.”

Thankfully I didn’t faint, but the episode made my body feel so terribly weak that we had to leave the Con. When we got home, I couldn’t keep my eyes open and slept for several hours. When I woke up, I felt like I had spent the whole day running a marathon when in reality, we had only spent two hours at the Con.

This is the reality of social anxiety.

I plan on going tomorrow. I’ve caught myself trying to rationalize going tomorrow, but maybe skipping one of the other days, although I have paid for the entire weekend. We’ll see.

I will be posting on my Facebook page throughout the Con – this will help to distract me from any uncomfortable feelings. Wish me luck.

Cheating on Your Books


The classics reading hasn’t quite started yet. I have a rather strange relationship with books. If I’m reading one that I enjoy, I feel obligated to finish it before moving on to another one. Almost like I don’t want to cheat on my current read.

I used to be worse. Years ago I would feel the same way about a book even if I didn’t enjoy it. I had this sense that if I started it, regardless of how awful it was, I had to finish it. For me, beginning a book was a commitment, even when I feel mentally abused by the abhorrent use of the English language. Thankfully I’ve learned to walk away from those non-remorseful literary partners.

I’m really enjoying the book that I’m reading now, which is why I haven’t started reading any classics yet. I’m reading “What Would Buffy Do: The Vampire Slayer as Spiritual Guide.” I’m enjoying it so much, I can’t bring myself to have an affair with another book.

Yes, when it comes to reading, I’m a serial monogamist.